Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, which for me is very strange indeed! Being a budding fiction writer, my head is full of daft stuff but I've never come across this - and it happened to me, no less.
My wife and I had two crappy cars. My wife's failed its MOT (the annual road-worthiness test)and we couldn't afford to fix it, so we got rid of it and manage with just the other. However, that was little better. We ordered a new black Volkswagen Polo for my wife, but that was going to take a few weeks while it was shipped from South Africa where they are assembled. Now, I had a horrible feeling the remaining car wasn't going to last and we ordered another provided it was already in the UK. One was found, but a week before I could pick it up our remaining crappy car decided to die on us on the way back from Alton Towers (a theme park). We had to be towed home at great expense by the RAC (an organisation that repairs cars at the roadside if they can).
So, we had no cars and both of us work...
I got my new car, a blue Volkswagen Polo, and it was great. Until I crashed it a week later! Now, it was fixable and got carted away and replaced by a courtesy car - a Skoda Fabia, which was OK. A slight problem came next. We were going to have to take my son to University and only had one smallish car for his stuff. Two days before the dreaded day, mine was still not fixed, but my wife's new one arrived. So we went down to Nottingham in the brand new car and the substitute. Into the city centre and all the roadworks. but we did it.
This wasn't the end of the story, though. Yes, we got back OK in the dark, but I soon got my car back. And after a week I got a puncture. The car still has the spare tyre on it because the alloys are expensive...
Jack Orchison
26 October, 2014.
Sunday, 26 October 2014
Thursday, 28 August 2014
Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the road
Hi again. We certainly find ways to spend money and remain poor. Apart from spouses or partners, the surest ways to be broke are to have kids, a computer (mine is slower than my phone), and cars.
And the latter is the subject of this blog. I've never had much luck with cars. The latest episode featured a Renault Kangoo: after taking my younger son and a friend of his to Alton Towers theme park, the car decided to turn into a monumental heap of junk on the way back. We limped into Keele services on the M6 with a knackered clutch and five hours later were towed home at great expense. I've spent all week securing some form of wheels, and I'm glad to say I pick up a shiny new car on Saturday. The ony drawback being the £200/month it's going to cost. And that's sorts of where I started...
Jack Orchison
28 August, 2014
And the latter is the subject of this blog. I've never had much luck with cars. The latest episode featured a Renault Kangoo: after taking my younger son and a friend of his to Alton Towers theme park, the car decided to turn into a monumental heap of junk on the way back. We limped into Keele services on the M6 with a knackered clutch and five hours later were towed home at great expense. I've spent all week securing some form of wheels, and I'm glad to say I pick up a shiny new car on Saturday. The ony drawback being the £200/month it's going to cost. And that's sorts of where I started...
Jack Orchison
28 August, 2014
Saturday, 19 July 2014
Why can't people just get on?
Hi. Not blogged for a while, but the internet went sadly wrong here for ages.
Anyway, what the hell is going wrong with the world? Israel and Gaza, Iraq, Syria, Ukraine and Russia, a downed plane...
There is absolutely no reason why people of different ethnicities or religions (or different denominations thereof) or politics cannot co-exist peacefully. None at all. People should show respect and tolerance and understanding, but - oh, no - there is a mad tribal urge to fight and kill, a ridiculous 'us and them' mentality that could drag us all into the shit.
They should all remember this: no sane person and no God condones killing. People who kill are not Christians or Muslims or Jews etc - they're something I can't repeat on this page. And they know it.
Jack Orchison
19 July, 2014
Anyway, what the hell is going wrong with the world? Israel and Gaza, Iraq, Syria, Ukraine and Russia, a downed plane...
There is absolutely no reason why people of different ethnicities or religions (or different denominations thereof) or politics cannot co-exist peacefully. None at all. People should show respect and tolerance and understanding, but - oh, no - there is a mad tribal urge to fight and kill, a ridiculous 'us and them' mentality that could drag us all into the shit.
They should all remember this: no sane person and no God condones killing. People who kill are not Christians or Muslims or Jews etc - they're something I can't repeat on this page. And they know it.
Jack Orchison
19 July, 2014
Monday, 16 June 2014
Sorting out, and a kid of falling out
It's come to that time of year where you realise what a mess the place is and you can no longer put up with it. The bedrooms were a huge dumping ground and have produced enough crap to fill a small skip (dumpster), it would seem. It took three days, and now, at last, everything is down the nearest tip or at a charity shop. Maybe now we'll be able to find the books we've threatening to read for the past year.
The whole episode did have its downside, however. Apart from twisting my right knee again, the top of one of my crowned teeth came off - and like an idiot I didn't put the damn thing anywhere safe so it could be stuck back on. That would be too simple, wouldn't it? So now I face either a dentist bill of £250 ($425), or another tooth out. Someone might have to teach me to suck eggs.
Jack Orchison
June 16, 2014.
The whole episode did have its downside, however. Apart from twisting my right knee again, the top of one of my crowned teeth came off - and like an idiot I didn't put the damn thing anywhere safe so it could be stuck back on. That would be too simple, wouldn't it? So now I face either a dentist bill of £250 ($425), or another tooth out. Someone might have to teach me to suck eggs.
Jack Orchison
June 16, 2014.
Sunday, 1 June 2014
Privacy and Secrets
I don't know about you, but I can keep a secret or confidence no matter what.
Some people, though, seem to make it their sworn duty with some vile diarrhoea of the mind to blab private stuff to all and sundry. And the worst part is that they don't seem to see the damage done or the wrong in it.
For instance, if you have a problem with money, drink, drugs, health or sexuality, that is your business. Nobody else's. If you tell someone, they may be understanding but can you really trust them not to spread it around? It is my bet they won't keep it to themselves for long, and once done they'll do it again, the excuse being to protect you from people findng out third hand. Bollocks! It's spiteful and malicious. The formula is geometric - the numbers knowing will double with every telling and soon some nasty bigot out there will have it in for you, or some do-gooder with a nose as long as Pinocchio will stick it into your business. Either way, you're screwed.
And we should always respect a person's privacy and secrets anyway, even over normal things, because they (being our own individual knowledge we have to ourselves) are what make us individuals. If someone knows everything about us, or if we are fool enough to tell them, we are not individuals at all, but in their control and power. And the bastards will exercise their weighty boots all over us.
Jack Orchison
June 1, 2014
Some people, though, seem to make it their sworn duty with some vile diarrhoea of the mind to blab private stuff to all and sundry. And the worst part is that they don't seem to see the damage done or the wrong in it.
For instance, if you have a problem with money, drink, drugs, health or sexuality, that is your business. Nobody else's. If you tell someone, they may be understanding but can you really trust them not to spread it around? It is my bet they won't keep it to themselves for long, and once done they'll do it again, the excuse being to protect you from people findng out third hand. Bollocks! It's spiteful and malicious. The formula is geometric - the numbers knowing will double with every telling and soon some nasty bigot out there will have it in for you, or some do-gooder with a nose as long as Pinocchio will stick it into your business. Either way, you're screwed.
And we should always respect a person's privacy and secrets anyway, even over normal things, because they (being our own individual knowledge we have to ourselves) are what make us individuals. If someone knows everything about us, or if we are fool enough to tell them, we are not individuals at all, but in their control and power. And the bastards will exercise their weighty boots all over us.
Jack Orchison
June 1, 2014
Monday, 26 May 2014
Taking a step back
Just got back from coffee and cake outside Marks and Spencer with my wife Christine and our mental two-year-old cocker spaniel, Charlie. Lovely in the sunshine, much better than bills, or the imminent expense of a new kitchen hob, or sofa for the lounge.
Actually, that wasn't what I was going to blog about at all. That was all about sonetimes having to step back a while before we can carry on in a much better way - what the French would call 'reculer pour mieux sauter.' Both of my sons - very capable in their own areas - have had to re-take a year of study through no fault of their own when depression descended on them along with Prozac. I think this is a sign of the times - the stress and strain modern living puts on young people (in their case 20 and 17). But it does mean they can get rid of all their baggage and problems to be in a better place, and they have our support for these difficult decisions. That's what parents are for.
I wonder if anyone out there has had similar experiences? I get blog hits from the UK and USA, of course, but what about Canada, Australia, New Zealand or South Africa? Is it different there?
Jack Orchison
May 25, 2014.
Actually, that wasn't what I was going to blog about at all. That was all about sonetimes having to step back a while before we can carry on in a much better way - what the French would call 'reculer pour mieux sauter.' Both of my sons - very capable in their own areas - have had to re-take a year of study through no fault of their own when depression descended on them along with Prozac. I think this is a sign of the times - the stress and strain modern living puts on young people (in their case 20 and 17). But it does mean they can get rid of all their baggage and problems to be in a better place, and they have our support for these difficult decisions. That's what parents are for.
I wonder if anyone out there has had similar experiences? I get blog hits from the UK and USA, of course, but what about Canada, Australia, New Zealand or South Africa? Is it different there?
Jack Orchison
May 25, 2014.
Monday, 21 April 2014
Expectations, liberalism and brainwashing
In the olden days things were so much simpler.
Boys followed their fathers down the mines or into the family business, and girls followed their mothers to the mill, or into service, without a thought. It was the way things were. You did as you were told. You followed rules. You knew your class and station in life. You married when and to whom you were told. You respected authority, law and the status quo. You feared God. People got diseases and died. Death was a part of life. People were solid, dependable and honest. People didn't swear. Society was still unequal but was nevertheless cohesive.
What the hell happened?
Three things: expectations, liberalism and brainwashing.
These pernicious items have led to the false but widely held belief that we can be anything, say anything, do anything, demand anything without giving jackshit in return. Nobody cares in a world where everyone thinks they can be rich and famous without actually achieving something. Work is a joke. Nobody gives a damn. They do what they like. Anything goes - drink, drugs, illegal sex, what used to be bastardy, sponging off the state, no respect for parents, police, councils, property, law, courts, emergency services, the Church, marriage, government. Religion is down the pan, others arise like paganism and New Age crap. The NHS makes us live to be a million years old which screws up employment and pensions as we prop up peoples' extra five years of infirmity or whatever it is. People cheat, lie, steal, fudge, corrupt, pervert. They're cowboys and rip-off merchants. TV and mobile phones have a zillion channels and we can contact anyone without thinking that crap at the speed of light (or sound) is still crap as we are brainwashed into technology with built-in obsolescence. Minority lobbies are taking over. Every condition has a label. Bankers pocket our money. MPs are dishonest. Newspapers promote filth and peddle political viewpoints instead of telling the truth. We bow to Europe. Pride in nationhood is an embarrassment. Having an opinion is a crime.
Yes, society will one day be equal. But at the cost of irretrievable anarchy.
Thank Christ (the real one, long since usurped by a chocolate egg and Santa Claus) I won't be around to see it's ultimate effect. And the next generation probably won't notice while they're high on crack discussing the next subdivision of sexuality, where they are on the scale of bipolarism, and how many Prozac they take in between.
Rant over. For now.
Jack Orchison
April 21, 2014.
Boys followed their fathers down the mines or into the family business, and girls followed their mothers to the mill, or into service, without a thought. It was the way things were. You did as you were told. You followed rules. You knew your class and station in life. You married when and to whom you were told. You respected authority, law and the status quo. You feared God. People got diseases and died. Death was a part of life. People were solid, dependable and honest. People didn't swear. Society was still unequal but was nevertheless cohesive.
What the hell happened?
Three things: expectations, liberalism and brainwashing.
These pernicious items have led to the false but widely held belief that we can be anything, say anything, do anything, demand anything without giving jackshit in return. Nobody cares in a world where everyone thinks they can be rich and famous without actually achieving something. Work is a joke. Nobody gives a damn. They do what they like. Anything goes - drink, drugs, illegal sex, what used to be bastardy, sponging off the state, no respect for parents, police, councils, property, law, courts, emergency services, the Church, marriage, government. Religion is down the pan, others arise like paganism and New Age crap. The NHS makes us live to be a million years old which screws up employment and pensions as we prop up peoples' extra five years of infirmity or whatever it is. People cheat, lie, steal, fudge, corrupt, pervert. They're cowboys and rip-off merchants. TV and mobile phones have a zillion channels and we can contact anyone without thinking that crap at the speed of light (or sound) is still crap as we are brainwashed into technology with built-in obsolescence. Minority lobbies are taking over. Every condition has a label. Bankers pocket our money. MPs are dishonest. Newspapers promote filth and peddle political viewpoints instead of telling the truth. We bow to Europe. Pride in nationhood is an embarrassment. Having an opinion is a crime.
Yes, society will one day be equal. But at the cost of irretrievable anarchy.
Thank Christ (the real one, long since usurped by a chocolate egg and Santa Claus) I won't be around to see it's ultimate effect. And the next generation probably won't notice while they're high on crack discussing the next subdivision of sexuality, where they are on the scale of bipolarism, and how many Prozac they take in between.
Rant over. For now.
Jack Orchison
April 21, 2014.
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